Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Waiting For My Wedding Day

I live in a military town. McConnell Air Force Base is right here in Wichita. That being the case, chances are if you live in this town you know at least ONE person that is active military. In our case, Paul and I are friends with a couple where the husband is in the Air Force, stationed at McConnell. Because I want to give them their due privacy, I will refer to them as "Collin" and "Anna". They are both very dear friends to us. In the two or three years we've known them Collin has been deployed twice for long periods of time. I believe the first time it was a little over six months that he was serving in Iraq. The second time he spent around four months in Honduras. Anna amazes me each time with her pure strength to get through that kind of time without having her husband. Can you imagine? Let me paint a picture for you, but mind you this is MY perception of what it must be like, not Anna's.

For six months I cannot touch my husband. I cannot hug him. I cannot kiss him. I cannot hold his hand. I cannot lay eyes on him. We can't exchange knowing glances at one another. When I talk to him on the phone I can only have twenty or thirty minutes of his time. I miss his laughter. Six months. Maybe longer. A year, eighteen months? I put my life on hold.

And I must do everything for myself. Mow the yard, or in the winter shovel the drive. Take the trash out. Gas up my vehicle. Kiss our kids good night. Every spur of the moment decision that must be made I must make, without consulting my husband.

It makes my heart ache.

To pass the time I must mark down the days on a calendar. 180 days to go. . .

Every time the phone rings I jump to get it, it might be him!! Every time I log on to the computer I wait anxiously to see if there's an e-mail there. Every day I trek to the mail box my heart is hopeful to see his handwriting.

My days are filled with thoughts of him. Memories we've shared. Vacations we've taken, quiet times we've spent in our bed talking about our days. Sharing inside jokes. Taking the kids out for ice cream. I long for him, yearn for him. I love him so much that I think my heart might explode.

And then the day comes, he comes home. I go to the airport to welcome him. I wait with arms wide open to greet him. Can you imagine the homecoming? To be wrapped in your husband's arms once more? To bury your face in his chest after so long of being alone?

You've got the idea, right? Now put yourself in this position. Does your heart ache too?

I was thinking about all these things the other day. Really I guess I should say that the Lord was speaking to me about all these things.

Then the bombshell:

"Jamie, why don't you think of me as your deployed husband?"

The Bible tells us that Christ is our husband. What's more, it tells us that we are his bride. And that some day he's coming back, coming home. Do we long for that day? Do we count down to the time of his return? Do we look at the Bible as his love letter to us? Do we long to know every detail about him?

If my heart aches thinking about my earthly husband in this way then shouldn't it ache even more so for my heavenly husband?

The Bible also tells us that we are to love Christ even above our own husbands. Hmm. If I were to really, truly practice that then shouldn't I be spending more time with him? Listening to Him, talking to Him, learning about who He is and what He wants from me, what He wants me to be.

If I didn't speak to Paul for an entire day wouldn't it offend him? What if I went longer? But yet we do this to Christ. Or if we do speak to Him is it for more than five or ten minutes a day?

If my husband really did leave for six months at a time I wouldn't dare forget that he was my husband, right? I mean, I know he'll be back. I wouldn't be unfaithful to him. But don't we do that with Jesus? We know he's coming back for us, but we fail to make him a priority. We don't dwell on his love for us. Instead, we find new loves. Our love's name is: Money, Greed, Idolatry, whatever the case may be for you. We prostitute ourselves for the love of something else. And all the while our husband, Christ, is remaining steadfast. Counting down the days until he can return to his bride.

So tell me, is your husband deployed? How will you spend your time until he returns?


Jessica said...

You've done it again...I'm left with a lump in my throat and tear filled eyes. You inspire me, I love you Jamie!

Jamie said...

Thanks Jess, I love you too.

Mom said...

I love your interpretations of the Word, keep up the communication from above! Love to you and yours!